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However, there are very few, if any at all, that have broken the terapixel barrier... until now. The World's Biggest Penis™️ is 290x bigger than current Guinness World Record.
Keep Exploring! There are many hidden pleasures along The World’s Biggest Penis. You can either keep scrolling your way through or use the handy purple buttons to teleport faster. In the bottom right corner, you’ll see your progress.
How far can you get?
The World's Largest Penis comes in two sizes. A managable "flaccid" state which some computers might be able to open - the flaccid version is available to download. The official record image is the "erect" version, which is truly too big to handle.
ℹTreasures are drawings scattered around the penis for you to find!
Yes. Both the flaccid and erect versions are single file images.
No. There is a continuous vein that will branch and undulate around the shaft giving every portion of the penis uniqueness.
Yes. There is as flaccid version which is smaller and free to download and play with (giggidy). The truly enormous erect version, is the world record breaker, which you can inqure about if you want to claim you have the world's biggest penis. See sizes for more information.
Um, no. See nerd stuff for why
If it's too big for you to handle then you probably shouldn't be playing with it. ... but if you can't resist, I have some tips here.
If you have a yacht, it's for sale - contact. Otherwise, there are plans to release this for trade, for auction, or for sale in physical form or as an NFT in the future.
Phallic symbols, drawings, and expressions have been used by humanity for tens of thousands of years. It's cultural significance has shifted over time, but it's story is one that will continue for generations to come.
The wheel was invented in 3,500 B.C, meaning the lovely "tool" above is a couple of decades older. Many etchings and drawings around this period celebrated the female form, however, phallic drawings and tools began to show up more frequently.
Stuck between two leopard's, a man is etched into stone holding his penis in one hand. Human's in this period of time had a complex relationship with nature, animals, and other humans. This narrative scene is the oldest on record. Scientists are still trying to figure out why exactly he's holding his penis while leapords attach, maybe we'll never know.
Min was an ancient Egyptian god of fertility, sexuality, and reproduction. He was associated with the Egyptian god Amun, and was depicted as a man with an erect phallus. His massive member in the statue above is unfortunately missing. It was likely stolen by a penis pirate.
Priapus was a Greek god of fertility, gardens, and livestock. He was known for his enormous, ever-erect penis. Some say he was so well-endowed he could plow a field by himself. Some say he was a bit of a "prickly" character, but overall, he was a helpful and benevolent deity.
A fascinum is an ancient phallic shaped amulet that was used to ward off evil and give good luck. The word "fascinating" actually stems from this penis charm, as a verb, "to enchant, bewitch".
With the rise of Christianity through Europe, penis drawings and adornments started losing their luster. They became seen as lewd or shameful. This didn't stop artists from including male member's in some texts, often as jokes. However, the perception of the penis around this time was rather complex which is one of the reasons they were not as prolific as they were in ancient Greece or Rome.
During the Renaissance, the penis was often depicted in art as a symbol of male strength and virility. For example, in Michelangelo's "David" statue, the penis is prominently displayed as a symbol of David's strength and courage as he prepares to fight Goliath. In many other works of Renaissance art, such as paintings and sculptures of classical gods and heroes, the penis is similarly depicted as a symbol of masculinity and power.
Refered to by locals as "Washington's Penis", The Washington Monument is a 555-ft (169 m) obelisk at the center of Washington, DC. At the time it was built, it was the tallest structure in human history. To this day, it is still the tallest masonry structure. The Eggplant, from Washington D.C., takes phallic insipiration from the grandure obelisk that he passes daily.
The artist, known as Eggplant, is a software engineer by day. By night, he creates computer programs to generate images. And now, he’s made the largest digital image in human history. So what could it possibly depict? After all, NASA made a 680 Gigapixel image of the Moon. So did Eggplant make an image of the Sun? The solar system? No, he made an image of a human penis.
The story does not begin with Eggplant setting out to break records. He just wanted to make fun of non-fungible tokens (NFTs). Finding them silly and their value proposition for the artworld dubious, he decided to take a crack at making one. It would be a satirical send up of the entire mania.
That’s when he first began thinking about size. If the image he made were so big that the average computer couldn’t open the file, that would be hilarious — digital art that was totally inaccessible but available to buy via blockchain. What sounded more like peak NFT craze than that?
Being an engineer, he set some ground rules for himself:
Looking over the rules and thinking about his mission, Eggplant had a stroke of genius. What if he created an image of the world’s biggest penis?
In January 2022, The Eggplant set to work. He knew what he had to build.
Eggplant used the programming language Python to construct algorithms capable of making an image of computer-crashing proportions. But fairly quickly he ran into road blocks.
Most incredibly large images you find online are not actually a single image. For instance, Google Earth is made up of many images all tiled together. That allows a computer to open a manageable collection of pictures, loading more as needed.
But Eggplant was creating a single, unified image. That puts an enormous amount of stress on a computer trying to load it all at once. And as the algorithms ran on, the project started to bump up against the hard reality of computing power.
It was around this point that Eggplant also realized something interesting — the largest image ever at that point
"Most computers crash because there's a bug, mine crashed because of a huge penis" - The Eggplant
As the image grew and grew, Eggplant had to scramble to gain the technical expertise to handle something so big. He scoured forums, subreddits, and contacted experts.
Of course, the sensitive nature of his project meant he had to go undercover. When asked why on earth someone would need an image dozens of terapixels big, he claimed at times to be an astronomer, GIS professional, microbiologist, and more.
Though he worked to catch up, catastrophe came. Eventually, the image burst through the TIFF image format specification he was working in. He had to essentially rework the format just to fit it all in. For reference, TIFF only allowed for images up to 2^32 pixels wide — or over four billion pixels. That wasn’t nearly big enough.
But with that fix in place, Eggplant was hopeful that he could complete his work. Eventually, after many computer crashes and many a crisis averted, his masterpiece was finished.
What the artist christened The World’s Biggest Penis reached a final size of 102,040,171,200,000 pixels (or 102 terapixels).
Before this, it’s believed that the largest image ever was around or under one terapixel. By the end, Eggplant’s generated image of a penis overshot that by over a hundred times.
To view something that big requires special software. And even software designed for viewing large images can still break under the conditions of viewing this thing.
So how big does that make it in concrete terms? The scale of this image is truly cosmic.
If you set the base of the image on the surface of the Earth, it would span an entire soccer pitch. And its length would extend all the way to the Moon and still come back half way. That’s getting awfully close to the diameter of the Sun.
Surely, Eggplant felt an exhausted satisfaction when the image was finished. It was so big, and he’d made it. But he realized his task was not done. There was something he needed to do to make it official and share it with the world.
What the artist christened The World’s Biggest Penis was ready for the history books. And so Eggplant sent in an application with Guinness World Records for the noted honor of creating the “Largest Digital Image.”
The current Guinness World record for Largest Image was from 1992. It's over a thousand times smaller than The World's Biggest Penis. Recently there has been a couple of images to penetrate the terapixel barrier, but no image has burst past the 100 terapixel barrier.
As of this writing, Eggplant is finishing up the steps needed to provide proof and expert testimonials. This is going well so far, as a PhD Astrophysicist working at Arizona State University has already come on board to confirm the size.
What does that all mean? It’s likely that, very soon, the largest image in the world will be widely known as a computer generated illustration of penis.
As far as art projects go, The World’s Biggest Penis stands in a category all its own. One can’t help but find it funny yet somehow profound that such a comically enormous image depicts a penis.
It’s a testament to our species and its long history of drawing these genitals wherever we go.
Cave art in Asia Minor dated to 8000 years ago shows a human figure with an enormous phallus. The phallic symbol of the lingam has been used to worship Shiva for at least 4000 years in India. Sexually provocative graffiti can be found all throughout ancient Roman baths. And what modern day high school desk has not been, at some time or another, adorned with the outline of male genitals?
There is something in us that revels in the image of a penis. Confident, silly, bold, playful, sexual, ridiculous, shocking, hilarious. How appropriate that it should be the largest image our species has ever made.
The World's Biggest Penis™️ is not just a galactic sized work of art. There are hidden treasures to find and explore... it's like a needle in a hay stack, but much, much harder.
This is an open challenge for all ye who has the jewels to handle it. A reminder to the traveler, you can't just "open" The World's Biggest Penis™️. You have to be clever in your approach. See instructions for how to keep ye computer afloat while you open it.
Join the Treasure Hunt:
Find them all before she blows!
|Time to Find
|UI - best option for non-technical users
tifffastcrop -E 200000,0,3840,3840 -c lzw twbp_flaccid.tif penis_crop.tif
|Python code here: pastebin
gm convert twbp_flaccid.tif -crop 20x30+0+0 penis_crop.jpg
|gdal_translate -srcwin 0 0 100 100 twbp_flaccid.tif gdalcrop.tif
|convert twbp_flaccid.tif -crop 40x30+10+10 penis_crop.jpg
convert-im6: width or height exceeds limit
|vips crop twbp_flaccid.tif penis_crop.jpg 0 0 100 100
tiff2vips: width/height out of range
I'm going to leave that up to a little bit of a mystery, because it wasn't easy. Let's just say one computer didn't cut it.
TIFF uses a 32-bit register which allows for a maximum of 4 000 000 bytes of addressable memory, hence the 4GB max files size. This provided an interesting challenge to see how much weiner I could fit into 4GB. Turns out a lot! I rammed as much as I could into it by using a custom compression algorithms, see "Shrinkage Algorithm" below.
For the erect version (the really big one) I had to use BigTIFF which uses the same specifications as TIFF, but with a 64-bit offset to allow for much larger images, passing the 4GB threshold.
The Flaccid version of The World's Biggest Penis™️ uses a much friendlier compression method that most of the internet runs on - JPEG. There are some pros and cons to JPEG compression. The pros: it's very commonly adopted so even programs like your browser have the codecs to decode JPEG compressed images. The cons: JPEG compression is lossy (hence the graininess you see in some images), it's tailored to human perception of quality, and its compression ratio is only so-so.
The Erect version of The World's Biggest Penis™️ uses a blazing fast, very high compression, lossless algorithm method called Zstandard (zstd). It's akin to the real world Pied Piper algorithm. When trying to make the largest image in the world, speed is a huge concern. Zstandard has a super duper fast encoding algorithm and produces a relatively small final image size given the resolution. It is also super fast at decoding, which can help for scanning the image for treasures. There is one major drawback to Zstandard - it's out of the box application support. Zstandard is by no means "rare", but it is still not widely adopted. Actually, it's on its way to replacing a lot of the technology behind zip, and is already adopted by companies such as League of Legends, Blender, Ubuntu, QGIS, and Hadoop. By virtue of spending countless months on this project, I know quite a bit about what libraries and applications provide support out of the box, so feel free to inquire.
The reason you can't "just open" this image is because it would require hudreds of terabytes of RAM to hold all of the image data in memory (the worlds biggest penis is very compressed!). Most software opens images by reading scanlines, or individual rows, from top to bottom. I've added pyramidal layers for the flaccid version at different resolutions so you can more easily open The World's Biggest Penis™️. However, I would still strongly suggest only loading portions of the shaft at a time to conserve memory usage, especially the erect version.
Creating the algorithm for the vein was the funnest part of this project. I wanted a vein to undulate and branch around the penis, giving it uniqueness for the entirety of the shaft. There was no clever plug-and-play (giggidy) options for this, so it's all custom made. There is always at least one vein drawn, it branches in to two veins, and very very very rarely will branch into three. The logic for this was a bit messy, but simply put the algorithm was drawing lines between coordinates and filling in pixels in a matrix that were then written to disk.
Keep going, you got this!
You're so close!